End of Month Scramble (serves one, or four if you’re irresponsible)

Start with two fresh paycheck eggs

Send one egg to your landlord

Send 90% of the remaining egg to various banks, power companies, media conglomerates, and financial institutions

Take 10% of one egg and mix it in a bowl with your choice of avocado borrowed from your parents, tomato from the blood bank, onion that you won playing poker, and cheese found under your couch cushions

Heat up on a stove until your rent deadline and serve

Pray that it’s enough to tide you over until your next meal

DELICIOUS!